4:10 AM PDT - Apr. 23, 2002
this morning i noticed that i have Jar Jar Binks on my tube of Star Wars Colgate toothpaste. which isn't so bad if i consider that i like the blue-black bubblegum flavor when i brush my teeth. four out of five dentists surveyed probably do not know the horror that is Jar Jar and that he is more suited for a porn flick than a sidekick to a Jedi. *urge and urge and urge
the gray tom cat outside has fallen in love with one of my cats. how can i tell? each morning i hear his skull thud against my glass backdoor. i get up to see my own two she cats watch and sing with both sadness and glee. *spelling test
for a man, it's the breathing, the in and out and heart and quick you need to make yourself last. think honey, think dark molasses pouring out of a barrel at thirty degrees, the way it creeps like a lioness in a thicket of tall grass keeping still and still moving. you want to work to hear the words i love you but even more so you want to hear you're a fantastic lover because loving is life and giving pleasure is like a gold star on a first grade spelling test and even if the woman you're with says you're awesome just to be nice at least she said it to you. you think of folds like origami, the folding of skin and hair and moisture you spell long words that start with the letter O with your fingers and lips and tongue, what to touch and not touch just like the first fire you built at Boy Scouts where there too you only had one stick and your hands to make heat and flame where there was none before. always it comes back to fire, water, life, as if there was anything else more important than this first grade moment again with walls of red alphabets and the zoo of giraffes and elephants and fresh water color paintings and you hope that someone important in this very room of heat and crying and candlelight someone remembers your name.
