7:47 AM PST - Jan. 12, 2004
foggy as tea outside and i have to go to the doctor's to get a tuberculosis test this morning. that, and i am still sleepy from last night. funny too, the boy didn't cry or fuss or anything. i just couldn't sleep. i sat up for awhile and turned on the TV and let the blue light color my son. it's such a wonder to watch him sleep. it has been 16 months or so since he was born and i still marvel at his hands and face and feet. maybe these feelings leave after they break a coffee pot or shatter a window or miss the toilet by five feet. i don't know. i get angry with him sometimes, but i remember he's still growing and i am old enough to know better than to lose my temper over some spilled water on my laptop. that in being his dad i signed up for this. yesterday we went to the park and i let him run in the sand and climb and slide and swing, all the things i didn't get to do as a kid because my parents were paranoid of the universe. understandable i guess since we did live in Chicago. and this boy of mine kept grabbing my fingers and wanted me to climb and slide and swing along as well, when all i wanted to do was watch.
