10:36 AM PST - Mar. 23, 2004
it's so like when you've been beaten into the corner of a basement, when the sky is winter and the gray is everything, the boxes of old toys, the laundry that still needs to be folded, that between your fingers you begin seeing the braids of the clothesline just above you and how it ties to the green water pipes. everything has its place. the orange box of tide. a candle flame. that even in the afternoon cold you can find triangles if you look. it's how i feel now, in this los angeles fog, how i know the hills are there even though i do not see their outline, and i know the sea is there, and i know the smell of tangerines and bananas and pears and fresh mint and the dark sweet char of pork in a warm oven. today in the face of layoffs and budget cutbacks and corporate shenanigans our management has begun its first official "employee recognition program" and i can't help to think of how my dad told me when i was twenty-two maybe i shouldn't have beat you so much when you were a boy and how each time i strike a match i cast a shadow.
